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The family has requested that all stories/memories that you have of R' Yehoshua Abramoff z'tl be submitted via this blog. Please post your memories in the comments section of this post. Thank you.
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Aba, as I called him, was amazingly adept at telling you what he thought without saying much at all. He would just give you this look, and sometimes a little smile, or a little frown, and in no time at all, you knew if he was pleased or not. I remember quite a few times I had some sort of inane idea, or silly notion, and one look would say everything!
ReplyDeleteI remember every time I went to the Abramoff's house I would be greeted with a smile from Rabbi Abramoff and Mrs. Abramoff as well. He'd be learning Torah and learning as well with his grandchildren which he loved so dearly. The smile on his face will always be remembered and Rabbi Abramoff will be missed.
ReplyDeleteAliza (Bensalmon) Kessler
I visited the Abramoff home many a time over the years. Rabbi Abramoff would ALWAYS have a smile that was always contagious.
ReplyDeleteSHALOM!!! Mah sh'lomcha? (in the strong anglo accent) would be the boisterous hello I received every time. I loved it.
A true tzaddik has left his city.
I sat next to Yehoshua at work for 12 years. He always arrived in the morning with a hearty 'hello people!' and a smile. After lunch without fail he read his prayers and studied torah. His optimistic approach to life kept me going through the years. There is a deep void in our office without him. He went out of his way to help students and teachers alike. He drove me a few times when I had a dental emergency to the Promenade to see my dentist. He came to my mother's funeral on Purim. I have seen him give advice to teacher's with personal problems. When there was a moral issue at stake concerning school policy he let there be no doubt which side he was on and often influenced the decision for the better. Knowing Yehoshua has given me the willpower to strive to be a better person. I certainly had the role model to learn from. david price, teacher, Earl Haig
ReplyDeleteA man of a few words – that was Rabbi Abramoff z’tl. I have known Rabbi Abramoff since nursery school when I would frequent the Abramoff home for get- togethers with Eli. This practice would continue throughout elementary and high school always commencing with a warm, welcoming smile from Rabbi Abramoff as I entered the house. “Shalom!”
ReplyDeleteRabbi Abramoff was the type of man who, with his kindness, could melt anyone and everyone’s heart. With his soft, friendly and humbled demeanour, and a smile that could not be forgotten, he would always answer a shay’la that Eli or one of her friends had, dropping everything, and enthusiastically walking down to the basement to fetch the source to show us.
It was also heart-warming to see the pure exhilaration Rabbi Abramoff would display over the fact that Eli was finally asking for help on algebraic problems – he would rush for a pencil and paper.
His kindness and concern was always felt by everyone. One late, frigid Shabbos night, a friend and I were getting ready to leave the Abramoff home when Rabbi Abramoff came out of nowhere (actually he was learning at the table), and stated that he was walking us back to the house we were staying at – he didn’t want us to walk back alone…we probably stood at the landing of the Abramoff house for 5 minutes reassuring Rabbi Abramoff that we would be fine. His frown said it all when he heard this but finally agreed to let us go. That was Rabbi Abramoff - always putting others first.
The way he answered the phones on Motzei Shabbos was one of my fondest memories of Rabbi Abramoff: “Shavua Tov!” he would answer. After asking for Eli, he would respond “Mi Zos?” Taken aback and trying to think about what those words meant, I responded “Uhhh…it’s Karen.” Hoping that to be the right answer, I was relieved to hear a “Ruk Rega Bevakasha…..Elisheva!” PHEW! Next time I would be prepared.
Who can forget Eli’s 3rd grade birthday party, when Mrs. Abramoff came along with Rabbi Abramoff, who was carrying donuts for the girls and obviously a sefer under his arm. Yes, most of the time he sat at the back of the classroom learning, but when he got up in front of the classroom to say a dvar torah for the girls, we were all shocked. Not one parent had done that before! And taka it was a great one (he spoke about Moshe Rabbeinu's sister Miriam) - the girls even wanted him to teach the class! And when Rabbi Abramoff so proudly, with a great big contagious smile, gave a bracha to his youngest daughter “Elisheva Miriam” the whole class was in a tumult! Elisheva Miriam! With a raised eyebrow and intrigued grin, Rabbi Abramoff did not understand why all the girls began a great big commotion of cheering and why Eli’s face turned as red as a tomato. Thank you Rabbi Abramoff for divulging that well kept secret to the whole class. :)
The overwhelming nachas Rabbi Abramoff possessed for all his children and grandchildren was obvious to us all. I was an outsider looking in, but I could sense the enjoyment he got from receiving faxes on Motzei Shabbos from his eldest children, Pirchah and Chavi, and eyniklach in Eretz Yisrael, to having discussions with Sara over a machlokes in the gemara, or answering Tzivia’s questions – he did this all with a reassuring, gentle smile. Also when seeing, in pictures, the absolute delight in his face from having ALL his children at Nechama’s wedding – his smile shined and radiated in every direction and could sincerely be felt.
And I truly believe that when Zvi and Eli got into those brawls, on those long Shabbos afternoons, sometimes even enticing Baruch to join in, Rabbi Abramoff did indeed shepp tons of nachas. As I watched, from the couch, for the response of Rabbi Abramoff, it came in the form of a little disapproving frown, as he lifted his eyes from his sefer, but that quickly disappeared and a goofy smile emerged as he went back to his Gemara. He knew that Eli would come out victorious; as he would remark after the battle came to an end - giving a kiss and hug to Eli – who, I thought, was not always triumphant.
The admiration we all had for Rabbi Abramoff will never be forgotten. He was a great man and will always be remembered for his genuine, good-hearted, humbled personality, contagious smile, and his readiness to help out in every situation. I personally learned much from him. He is truly missed.
Condolences to the whole Family:
HaMakom Yenachem Es'chem B'soch Shar Avay'lay Tzion Vee'Yerushalayim.
One erev Shabbath, a couple of years ago, my wife was in Israel & I was invited out for dinner. As we were making early Shabbath, I lit candles & went to shul. I mentioned to Yehoshua that I wasn't sure what I should have done - he told me that I lit too early. I should have come to shul for minchah, gone home to light, & returned to shul for kabbalat Shabbath. I just smiled, but after minchah he went outside, got in his car, & insisted on driving me home, waiting while I lit candles for the second time, and driving me back to shul. My performing the mitzvah correctly was more important to him than the inconvenience of driving me home. He was a true gentleman and will be sorely missed by his family, friends, colleagues, and the shul
ReplyDeleteJack Martell
Karen Gal reminded me of something that we never truly got to say a proper thank you for:
ReplyDeleteEvery week (and truly, every time) that I would come to the Abramoff house for shabbat or just to say hello, Aba would ever so quietly come outside to make sure I got across the street and home safely. I know my mother and grandmother always rested easier knowing that someone was looking out for me - Ima with her 'sechel' and food, and Aba minding the cars and the street, as well as the halacha.
He was always so proud when his children learned his ways - when Boruch would walk people home on yom tov, when Eli would offer guests tea, and when Sara would answer the telephone "Shalom!" He loved seeing Tzvi learn, and hearing about Nechama's accomplishments, and seeing Tzivia and the einaklach; the smile on his face every motzei shabbat when the fax from Pircha and Chavi came in said it all.
HaMakom Yinachem Etchem B'toch Sha'ar Avlay Tzion V'Yerushalayim.
Dear Ayala, Pircha, Chavi, Boruch, Nechama, Tzivia, Sarah, Tzvi & Eli,
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to say how sorry I am for your unbelievable loss. I tried calling this whole week but could not get through to you so I am writing this instead.
Your family was my second family growing up. I was probably in your house about as much as I was in my own. It was my first stop on my way home from school, where I would always check out what was for dinner to see if I wanted to join you in what you were having rather than go home. I never needed an invitation, I just stayed if I wanted to because I always knew I was welcome, another member of the family. That was your house, with its door always open and everyone made to feel welcome, whatever time of the day, whatever was going on. This was a feeling that permeated the household. There was never a bad time. I was always amazed at the balagan that went on in your house, with kids all over the place, the noise level through the roof, you, Ayala, in the kitchen whipping up something or other, and Yehoshua learning in the dining room right in the middle of it all, not noticing or caring about the whirlwind all around him, not letting it break his concentration, and once in a while looking up to smile or tell someone something in a quiet, gentle voice. That is my memories of Yehohua, quiet, gentle, happy, at peace, enjoying his family and his learning.
I loved coming for Shabbat and especially Friday night when I could get the long bracha that Yehoshua gave to all of his children, me included. It was never a question of whether he would give it to me, it was always offered. He said that bracha in a way that made the person receiving it feel that he meant every word of it and wished that each part of the bracha would come true. It never seemed to be said by rote, without thought behind it. His bracha taught us the values and middot that were important to him, he didn't need to lecture to us about them because the kavana with which he said that bracha conveyed the importance of those ideals to him and spoke of their importance to us: to be a baalat middot, a tzadeikes, to marry a talmud chacham, to have children that were talmidei chachamim.....
I remember often coming home with Chavi to do homework and we would often ask Yehoshua about a "halacha" that we learned in Bais Yaakov. He would tell us what the halacha really was, as opposed to the chumra we were taught, and would show us the mekorot in the various sefarim that he had. If we would decide that we wanted to go back to school and show our teacher the halacha and the mekor, Yehoshua would encourage us to do so but would emphasize over and over that we should make sure to do so in a respectful manner. This was something both you, Ayala, and Yehoshua would often stress to us, how to treat others with respect and kindness. It was something we all learned from the way both of you talked, behaved and treated each other and other people.
I saw the respect my parents had for both you, Ayala, and Yehoshua, not only because of your friendship, but because of the special middot which they always looked up to you for, and for the respect and love you both had for the Torah and its mitzvot. They turned to Yehoshua with their she'aylot and the weight they gave to each and every one of Yehoshua's psakkim spoke volumes about how much they valued him as their Rabbi, not only to teach them the ins and outs of the halacha, but to teach them how to live their lives. This respect and love transferred down to us kids and we knew how special he was even when, as younger children, we could not understand why. I know that I never heard one bad word spoken about your family by anyone, and that in itself speaks volumes. I remember often, my parents commenting on yours and Yehoshua's si'ata d'shmaya, how your emunah in Hashem never wavers, how you always see the positive in everything, and being best friends with Chavi, I saw that you passed that emunah and total faith down to her as well. I have always loved being with you, Chavi, and talking to you, because everything is always baruch Hashem positive, wonderful, and you are always happy and full of life, and you are so lucky to have learned that from your parents.
I could probably go on and on, but I will end here by saying that I am so sorry that I couldn't be there with you all to say this in person, and that Mordie and I hope that Hashem will bring you and your whole family comfort and that you should know no more tzar, and celebrate only smachot in the future.
Hamakom Yenachem Etchem Btoch Sha'ar Aveilei Tzion V'Yerushalayim.
Love,
Za
I don't really know what to say... all of my family is still pretty much in shock over this. Much of what Zahava said so beautifully about growing up with Yehoshua applies to us as well. There have already been a number of times in the past week where things have come up, and my first reaction has been "I don't know, I'll call Yehoshua". I can't tell you how much I appreciate his freely giving of his precious time to answer all of my questions over the years. How he always managed to know the answer right away I'll never know. And the answer always ended with the modest comment that I should ask my cousin - advice I never really needed to follow.
ReplyDeleteI think the last time I spoke to him was after Yom Kippur. Naomi was pregnant and not feeling well erev Yom Kippur and so I had called to ask what to do. Yehoshua answered me and then called right after Yom Kippur to see how Naomi was doing. It was such a nice thing to do. How many people freely give of their precious time to not only answer questions without getting anything in return, but also call afterwards to make sure everything went allright. All that when he was already sick himself.
The "comedy duo" acts that he did with my father on Shabbos lunch when they both got comfortable stand out in my mind. I'll really miss that.
We have lost an irreplacable friend and posek.
HaMakom Yenachem Es'chem B'soch Shar Avay'lay Tzion Vee'Yerushalayim.
Dear Abramoffs,
ReplyDeleteI have so many wonderful, powerful memories of Yehoshua and of growing up in your house. Yehoshua was an incredibly rare person – someone you could always learn from, but also talk to and laugh with. I always felt, even as a kid, that my opinion was important to him and that he was really listening to what I had to say. Yehoshua was always watching out for his family and the many, many kids in the neighborhood who lived (sometimes more than!) part-time in your house. The last time I spoke to Yehoshua, we were standing beside the play area at the Science Center talking and watching his grandkids play. I told him that we’d moved to Houston and that we live in a pretty sketchy neighborhood, and he wouldn’t leave until he had warned me about the dangers of living in a big city and until he had talked to my Dad and assured himself that I would be safe and that I knew the little safety tricks that he and my Dad had practiced in New York growing up. That is just the most recent of many examples. Yehoshua was that kind of person – always watching out for the wellbeing of others.
Dave and I both feel honored to have known Yehoshua and to have learned from him. We both were and continue to be inspired by his incredible love of torah, am yisrael, eretz yisrael and, of course, by his overwhelming love for his family.
HaMakom Yenachem Es'chem B'soch Shar Avay'lay Tzion Vee'Yerushalayim.
Bracha and Dave
I had the pleasure of living two doors down from the Abramoff's growing up, and I spent about as much time there as I did at my house. I continued to call him regularly when I had halackhic questions. When he passed away, the thing that really struck me is that in thirty years, despite literally thousands of hours of conversation and interaction, he never once said anything that wasn't purely kind. I think that's astounding. I never saw him angry, and believe me (and if you knew me as a kid, you know the truth of this) I gave him reason to be. (Yehoshua once told me, and I paraphrase, "a good parent never gets angry, but knows when to fake anger"). He was a very rare Rabbi in many, many ways: it was easy to learn from him, but you never felt like he was preaching at you. Always smiling, always happy to see you, always a pleasure, and you were always better off after bumping into him then before, whether I was two years old and playing elimination in his backyard or I was 25 and calling him to help sort out an extremely complex halachik issue.
ReplyDeleteTwo stories stick out in my mind: A few years ago, Kim and I were staying on a boat for a week, and we were trying to figure out how/if we could set up an eruv on the boat (for the decks). This led to one of my all-time favorite conversations: Yehosuah and me on the phone for over an hour, with me taking a wide variety of measurements (height of the railings, length of the break in the railings, etc.) and Yehoshuah with a calculator, pen and paper and a few seforim open, working out a number of angles, and telling me what to do next. What struck me the most at the time was that I had given him what was essentially a tedious chore, and he attacked it like he could not imagine anything he would rather do (and to this day, I suspect there wasn't).
The other story was just a few months ago, after he was already very sick, when he was discussing with my father a psak we had gotten (at this point I had stopped going to Yehoshuah as my first call, since I didn't want to bother him during a tough time). Yehoshuah told my father that we should consider calling back the rav in question and making sure he understood a particular aspect of the situation, and ask whether that might change the psak: this really struck me for a few reasons: 1) Yehoshuah was honestly concerned that we had received a psak that was unduly difficult on us, and it bothered and worried him and 2) rather than say he thought the other rav was wrong, he immediately came up with the smoothest, most respectful way out: suggest that perhaps a particular aspect was not clear to the other rav, thereby not embarrassing him, but getting us the information we needed.
I could go on and on. I was discussing questions that arise during security clearance interviews with him once and he said to me "When they asked you if you'd ever done that, why didn't you just tell them it's against halachah?". The last week, I would laugh as I ran through the names of his daughters in his distinctive accent (PirCHAAAHHH, ChaVAAAAHHH, NechaMAAAAHHH, TziviAAAAHHH, ChaVAAAAHHH, SaRAAAAHHHH, ElisheVAAAAHHHH), and I was really upset when I heard. I actually was going to fly into Toronto for the hespedim, but I wouldn't have been able to get back for shabbos, and we had guests. I thought for a fleeting second about cancelling on them, but then I could just hear Yehoshuah in my head saying "You've got guests!" and laughed. And that's the thing: I'm so sorry about his untimely fate, and thinking about it makes me want to cry, but I literally can't think of Yehoshua (YehoshuAAAAHH) without smiling. And that's how I'll always remember him, a man who made everyone he ever met happier for it.
Hamakom Yenachem Etchem Betoch Shar Avaylay Tzion VeYerushalayim.
Although I had the pleasure of knowing Nechama for quite some time, the first time I had the honor of meeting Mr. Abramoff was at the bedside of a young girl who was moments away from petirah. I was at a loss as of course was her mother. With such compassion he brought kedusha into the room and made sure she left this world "al pi halacha". Although the moments were filled with tragedy his presence brought peace to the distraught mother. It's been at least twenty years yet I remember every minute as if it just happened.
ReplyDeleteHamakom Yenachem Eschem Betoch Shar Availay Tzion V'Yerushaliayim
Dear Pircha and Family,
ReplyDeleteI heard the very sad news from Shira Spodek Greenstone (we both live near each other in Baltimore, MD)
I am so sorry that I couldn't be there with you all to say this in person, and I hope that Hashem will bring you and your whole family comfort and that you should know no more tzar, and celebrate only smachot in the future.
Hamakom Yenachem Etchem Btoch Sha'ar Aveilei Tzion V'Yerushalayim.
Sincerely,
Aviva Blajchman Kidorf (originally from Hamilton)
Hello,
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to share with the readers a special story or two ...
Firstly, I will never forget sleeping over at eli's house when we were in high school (every other night), and Rabbi Abramoff's good night words to his baby princess (& me) were "dream of torah". I loved hearing those words, and eli and I would always say that to each other at the end of the night when we would hang up the phone, or sleep at each other's houses, along with "don't let the bed bugs bite..."
When I heard of His passing, I cried and thought, I will never hear him say those precious words again. The precious words that epitomized his very essence and his deep love of Torah.
The night we found of his passing, a few of my family members including my husband, mother, brother and I were sitting around talking about what an amazing man R' Abramoff (Abba) was. Daniyel, my 14 year old brother, and my mother recounted a story. Each night when my mother would drop off my brother at Ner Yisrael to learn, they would pull in front of the yeshiva and usually R' Abramoff would be walking in around the same time. Like clockworks, He would walk up the steps, heading with determination to learn Torah, with a smile on his face. The last time they saw him, he was in such bad shape from all that his body had endured, that he "crawled" up the steps, dragging his tired body along to just make it in the doorway. Both my mother and brother knew it would not be long until he passed when seeing him in this condition, but it is this last picture of him in their heads that they have: With his last amounts of energy draining, the dedication he had, and his suffering, to learn a few more words of Torah.
My brother was also telling us how R' Abramoff would always smile and say hello to him, when passing him in the hallways of Ner Yisrael. When I asked my brother if he said hi because he knows you're my brother, Daniyel simply said "No. He doesn't know me. He's just that kind of man. He's just friendly, and always says hello."
At some point during this conversation, my father popped his head in to share his version of how R' Abramoff touched his life. "It was his dvar torahs", says my father. When both him and my mother met the Abramoffs years ago, R' Abramoff once gave my father a dvar torah. Since then, my father says he "wouldn't let him off the hook", and wouldn't let him walk away without a dvar torah each time they met. Whether it would be when my father was picking me up from the Abramoffs, or at a simchah, my father would walk up to Him, say hello, and fold his arms waiting for the precious words of Torah to come... And they always did.
We'll really miss you Abba, you've affected more people in this world then you'll ever know. May we all learn from this wonderful man, and strengthen ourselves and our yiddishkeit, and learn from his example.
-Naomi Gallor (JACK)
Dear Eli and Yoni, Ayala, and Abramoff Mishpachah,
ReplyDeleteHaMakom Yinachem Etchem B'Toch Sha'ar Avlei Tzion V'Yerushalayim to all of you. May Hashem comfort you in your time of need among the other mourners of Tzion and Yerushalayim. I just want to say first of all that I do not know how to write this message properly. Whatever I write here will never suffice for the deepening pain and sadness for what I feel inside, but cannot express.
Although I was not able to attend the levayah or the shiva in Israel and comfort you in person, I am deeply grateful for having been able to attend the hespedim here in Toronto. When I messaged Eli on Thursday night wishing you all well and Rav Abramoff zt"l a refuah shleimah, she messaged me back almost instantaneously informing me that he had passed away already. I cannot describe to you the utter shock and disbelief and deep pain and sadness that I felt at that moment.
Rav Abamoff zt”l was a remarkable human being and he will be missed greatly by many, many, many people. I first met Rav Abramoff in his role as a high school math teacher. I attended summer school in 2001, the year before I entered Grade 11 at CHAT. I attended summer school at CW Jeffrey’s Collegiate Institute. I was taking an English Media course at summer school that year. It was then that I wished that I was taking math! Anyway, I used to eat lunch in the lunch room and then go into the office everyday to bentch. I did not want to bentch in the hallway to attract attention. Rav Abramoff was always in the office sitting in front of a blatt of Gemara. Rav Abramoff zt”l was a very learned talmid chacham and he was not afraid to learn openly or in public. At that point in my life, I was not very knowledgeable about Yiddishkeit, so I was learning the book: “To Be A Jew” by Rav Hayim Halevi Donin. I had a question that arose from my reading, so I asked Rav Abramoff. Although I don’t remember the question or the answer that he gave me, I remember that I was astonished at the consideration, depth, and time that Rav Abramoff took to answer the question.
I then ran into Rav Abramoff a couple of years later when we were walking to or from shul. It was then that I realized that he lived in the area. A couple of years later I met Eli at a Motzai Shabbos shiur which one of our friends used to run. Not long after that I became very close friends with the family.
I attended many Shabbos meals at the Abramoff’s home. They were always open and welcoming and willing to host me if I needed a place to eat lunch. I distinctly remember Rav Abramoff saying to his wife Ayala how delicious the meal was and how undeserving he was of such good food. Rav Abramoff was a Tzaddik in every sense of the word, a very true humble and modest man. His humbleness and modesty were even reflected in the last stages of his illness. He always praised Ayala and his family for their hard work and preparation of food, for example. I never heard Rav Abramoff complain of his own illness or even once talk about his own needs, even after I learned of his tragic sickness. These values were reflected in his family as well. I most appreciated the story told at the hespedim of how Ayala was so concerned about not stealing the sheets that were used to wrap up his tzitzis, because he always taught his family never to cheat or steal no matter what the circumstances. There were many good stories told at the hespedim, such as when his chavrusa read the Talmud to him, his heartrate would increase visibly on the monitor. Another was when Ayala gave one of the nurses a lesson in emunah, when the end was drawing near.
Rav Abramoff’s, Zichron Tzaddik Livrachah, sudden passing has caused a great loss to Klal Yisrael. He was a man whose values Klal Yisrael must emulate even though he can never be replaced. May Klal Yisrael carry on his Torah and Mitzvos for generations and never forget the valuable and cherished lessons that he taught us all. Baruch Dayan HaEmet on the tragic loss of such a tremendous Tzaddik. Zichron Tzaddik Livrachah. May Klal Yisroel live and cherish his memory for generations to come. May his memory, his Torah and his Mitzvos live on for ever in our hearts and may his memory be a Brachah for all of Klal Yisroel forever Leolam Vaed.
Again, HaMakom Yinachem Etchem B’Toch Sha’ar Avlei Tzion V’Yerushalayim to all of you. My warmest wishes go out to you in your time of need during this extremely painful time. If you need to talk at any time, please feel free to call me.
May your family experience only good things, Mazel Brachah, Hatzlachah and Only Simchas. May your family have no more tzar Leolam Vaed. I am still in utter shock over the whole situation and I know that Rav Abramoff’s ZT”L physical presence will be a huge loss to the Abramoff Shabbos table.
Drishat Shalom and Kol Tov to your family,
Please keep in touch.
May all of Klal Yisroel experience no more tzar and may we all be together in Yerushalayim soon. May Mashiach come Bimheirah Biyameinu, Amen, Selah!
Love as always,
Cassie.
sorry of our loss
ReplyDelete,ephraim
zaida was a very good man,when ever I came to his house with a cold he always hugged me even though I had a cold,he never did not hug me.
ReplyDeleteDaniel Eliyahu Abramoff
For the last, almost five years I have lived next door Tzivia. I will not go into how much fun that is, but rather focus on what it's been like over the last year. When we actually get out of the house for our nightly walks i was over come by how she was dealing with her father's illness. When I would ask her, frequently, "How can you not be crying 24/7?
ReplyDeleteHer answer was simple, I wasn't raised that way, Whatever Hashem deals out, it's what He deals out, that's how my parents bought us up. It's who we are"
I love to hear Tzivia's stories, there are full of warmth and love.
When Mr. Abramoff was in Shala'vim on Simchat Torah I directed him to the right Minyan, where he would be sure to get an aliya. I am so thankful to Hashem for giving me the chance to say a few words to this great man.
I am sad to not have had the chance to accounter him first hand, but the stories will live in my heart forever.